So you want me to review your book….


Glad to. No, really. I would be happy to do so, but there are some guidelines:


1.  I do NOT review, read, or comment on unpublished work. Ever. EVAR. It’s a legal thing. Publish it, and we are good to go.


2. I do not review erotica. Seriously, I don’t care how his throbbing member split her, invading the recesses of her hungry chasm before filling her with his burning seed. Don’t ask. That goes double for gay erotica. Write what excites you, and good on you for it. I am simply not interested.


3. Do NOT send me attachments. No epubs. No mobis. No pdfs. They will just be deleted. I will buy your book, with my own money, and review it. I will post the review on the sites you prefer, but most often Amazon and Goodreads.


4. Yes, you may blurb me.


5. Be prepared. I do not give away 5-star ratings. If I dislike a book, I will say so, eloquently, and with as devastating effect as possible. It is never personal. Sometimes, I just hate a book. Want a better chance? Proofread your own work with something other than spell check. I do.


6. Yes, I hope you will reciprocate. Screw Amazon’s guidelines. My pricing is not onerous, and a verified purchase review is just that–verified. However, I will never require reciprocation. Nuff said.


7. Yes I read your genre. Good writing elevates itself above such petty distinctions. Except erotica, of course, but you already know that about me.


So, good luck! I can’t honor all requests, but I do my best. Shoot a non-form letter to will [at], and we will see.